Saturday, 18 March 2017

Why I started this Blog


Since childhood I was into diary writing, though not regularly, but I used to write whenever I was either happy or sad or felt in a different way. Somehow after High School years, I don't know why I stopped writing in my diary. Growing up accompanies 'n' number of responsibilities, frustrations and lessons of adult life. Hence, I was not an exception. In such a circumstance I almost forgot about my writing habit.

In the meantime a heartbreaking end of my love relationship acted as a catalyst . It actually made this circumstance worse. Here , I stopped behaving the way I used to . I was depressed. Being a Psychologist I had a preconceptions about what it is like to be depressed? But, this was the first time when I experienced it. It felt like the world is ending and nothing could be done regarding it. I was trying to hide under my den.

Once I read a quote somewhere ~ " You save everyone, who saves you?" . It really struck me the most during this period of time.The days were full of preoccupations and the nights were lonely and filled with insomnia. I wondered "what a psychologist needs to do during such a time?" , "shall I seek help from someone ?" .

Jeet came into my life as a boon. Jeet ( as I call him ) is a Police Officer at Indian Police Service. He is sincere , hardworking , organized , brave and above all he is a kind person that makes all the difference. Though I hate the concept of stereotyping a job-role , still I could never think of a Police officer like him. Regardless of how many differences we had within ourselves , we had more similarities that helped us to relate to each other. The thing I like the most in him , is that he never makes you feel unwanted , regardless how terribly busy he is almost all the time , he never failed to revert whenever I needed him. I think , this is what a true friend is like . I have very few friends whom I can count on during my struggle hours and most of them are my childhood friends too. Being an introvert it is very difficult to disclose yourself to another individual , though it never acted as an obstacle  for me to mingle with others due to my friendly nature. Even,  until last year I used to think that I'm an ambivert , but I guess 'Time' is the best teacher. Especially after my love relationship break-up , I went through a phase of isolation (thought it was a motivated isolation ) , which taught me so many things about myself. I discovered my true self only after I lost myself . Jeet , out of the blue within a short period of time became very close . He had wisdom, kindness , love to give whenever we talked , as he believes in the art of giving. He believes that we're born on earth to give , no matter if we get something in return or not , but it is our 'karma' to practice giving rather than receiving.

When I got to know about his blog , I was shocked. I couldn't believe that he is into writing. Later , after I went through his blog and Instagram profile , I got to know , that he was never into all this until he fell in love. I got to know what a terrible life he is living after his mother expired . No matter who you are, loosing a parent is a loss that can never be recuperated. The scar remains in you forever. In the meantime , after his mother expired he met this girl he loves , who for some of her own reasons could not reciprocate. And , this made him start writing, painting and what not. Truly, love is something that can convert a criminal to a saint, an artist to a criminal and a cop to an artist.

Jeet, is a person who has and believes in the power of speech, which indeed pulled me out of my den and gave me an assurance that there are a lot of things awaiting in the future , that 'time' is the most precious thing and hence it should be utilized properly  rather than wasting it. He is as strong as Iron with a heart of  Gold , who believes in the power of love and believes in what can happen rather than what could have happened. He inspired me to the core and don't know how he did it, but he brought me back from the dead.

This is how I resumed into writing and finally , to my surprise I started this blog.


“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart”

In a planet in dearth of 'friends' like this , a woman with 'luck'
Human Potpourri




Esteem needs?

Since the time I grew an emerging interest in Psychology , I often questioned it's various theories in order to validate it (something , that I've been doing since childhood , about everything). As they say, I have a knack for logical reasoning and inferring relationships , any gap in the knowledge upset me to great extents . It's like something or other have to stimulate my grey cells constantly , otherwise the universe will confront an obvious disequilibrium.  

One such gap in knowledge occurred , when I learned the Maslow's Hierarchy for the first time. Remember Maslow's Hierarchy? Which says, each human being goes through a number of needs (primary to secondary and finally, tertiary ) to reach one's full potential that comprises of highest level of motivation. According to this theory , self actualization is the ultimate need. 'What a man can be, he must be' this quotation forms the basis of this need. And , to achieve this highest form of need one must not only meet but, master earlier forms of need . They are ~ Physiological need, safety needs, love and belonging and esteem needs respectively. Maslow believed, one must meet an earlier need to achieve the next. Here, my confusion occurred!

I've known people, who are highly motivated in their occupational setup and doing quite well , but, at the end of the day live lonely lives. Some of them, don't have friends, some don't have family , some are the victims of loss of love, while few have a combination of all these together. Regardless this fact , they are highly competent and focused to their work goals. I often wonder, how their esteem needs can be so high , where, they are still struggling with their search for love and belongingness . With this, I recall a memory of a dinner party , that took place years ago , where, I saw this professor of mine (he is a sheer genius in his field of work and holds great recognition and prestige ) in a corner of the dining area , eating on his own.

Yet again, we should remember that 'beauty stands in the eye of the beholder' i.e. everything on Earth is based on perspective. Hence, it may be possible that , they are still striving for their love and belonging needs through their fight to reach the mountains of occupational success as, this will yield them more acceptance by the society, where they will find love. Maybe, it's our shortcoming , that, we with our bare eyes , are unable to see their suffering which mislead us to interpret as their fight for self esteem.

 


More love to them,
Human Potpourri

 



The Difference

We, women believe in the power over our men. We, believe that , because they love us, they would do anything for us. But, the fact is that , though they love us, they love other things more, their notion of honor, of loyalty towards their own gender , of reputation, which is more important for them than our suffering. They would avenge us later , but only when, they would feel that the circumstances would bring them heroic fame. A woman doesn't think that way , she is , hence way too different than a man , when she loves!

With love, a woman of this age
Human Potpourri

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

Reminder : The best friend was once an enemy , the enemy , a camouflaged Friend!

As we grow up in life , we meet different people. People who befriend with us , people who compete with us , people who love us , people who hate us , people who help us , people whom we help , people who can save you and finally people who can kill you.

You being a kind person, many a times would confront people who will be self centered. They will stick to you like a leach with a purpose, until it's finally met. Who will be an enemy , in the face of a friend .

You should not feel sorry for helping these people who disregard you after they have gained from you. Such people always did exist and they will continue to exist . But this should not bother you, cause you do things that defines you , that makes you who you are. Bothering about these mere beings and feeling sorry for about yourself would probably change the meaning of why you help people and what drives you to empower others. Life is about making choices and hence you choose to do things that makes you who you are . Those misusing it , would be the fools left with nothing, cause I believe , every gain will be followed by a loss and every loss will end up gaining something. So, it's their misfortune that they couldn't sustain you.

Feel sorry for them , not yourself!

With caution a woman of this age,
Human Potpourri

Tuesday, 28 February 2017

A woman , A friend!


I have always discarded the concept of 'best friends'. I believe , calling someone our best friend is actually disregarding other friends. Friend , such a small word with so many emotions. A friend can come from anywhere, any background, any age , here the feeling matters not the attributes. And most of the time a friend is found when it is most unexpected. For me calling someone my Friend has always been enough. Because if I'm calling you my friend, I really consider you as one. I don't like calling an acquaintance a friend or a friend as 'close' because , a friend has to be close enough to be your partner . Ain't it? And the concept of 'fake friends' go above my understanding as I perceive it as an oxymoron!

I came to know Monideepa through my workplace. Though the first time we met was not that smooth , still , somehow we managed to move each other to an extent beyond friendship goals. After my hardcore breakup with two women from the past I was quite reluctant with forming any emotional bond with any other woman. The fact is finding a female 'friend' in this decade is truly a challenge , due to the jealous nature of some.

Monideepa Di, as I call her always had that sister's concern in her eyes and motherly warmth in her voice. She is a sheer example of Dance and Quick wit . I love the way she pampers me at times while supports me like a rock when I stumble. A hard-working woman who is devoted , obedient and curious to learn. But , what I like the most about her is her childlike heart , pure and filled with raw emotions.

Today, was the last day of her work with me . She changed the workplace , for which ofcourse I'm one of the happiest person that finally she has taken a step towards her dream. On the other hand it felt weird that from tomorrow I'll not be able to see her everyday. The connection will be there indeed but those gossips against your boss , those endless food parades , those stress buster laughing session in the mid of work pressure , those meetings over 'chai' and samosa will never come back.

Still, at the end of the day people who matter to you will be with you , no matter where they are. I will always be thankful to her for changing my preconception about emotional investments upon another woman , whom I can call my 'friend' .

More power to her,
Human potpourri

Monday, 6 February 2017

Light!

I'm the light to guide you through darkness. The light , that you need the most at this point of life. Though I have to burn , in order to produce this light , I burn every now and then . I burn day and night. Every second of burning has become a habit of mine. So, take this light and go on. Let my striving not get wasted. Let my wounds of burn feel that , something worthy is being produced out of their sacrifice. Let the light within me serve it's purpose. Cause, I shall burn either way, if you choose the light or not.


Choice is yours.